my miracle
by: Jessica Engum
When i was born on February 21st 1987, the doctors wouldn't listen to my mom at all. My mom had to say that she would not say another word so that they would check her to see if i was coming cause the doctors didn't believe her. Because of this i was born in the hallway of the hospital right outside of the doorway of the delivery room. That may sound kinda funny to you now but it could have killed me. For one thing the hallways of a hospital are in no way fit for having a baby so i could have came in contact with any number of life threatening diseases or illnesses. For another thing when i was born i came out so fast that if i hadn't hit my mom's ankle i would have fell off of the bed. That would have without a doubt killed me. Then when i was born the doctors immediately rushed me to intensive care and wouldn't tell my mom anything, not even if i was alive. My mom had threatened to tear the hospital apart to look for me before they finally told her that i was alive and agreed to take her to see me after they cleaned her up.

They told her that i had a birth defect called spina bifida. This is where the spin doesn't develop correctly and most of the time there is a hole in the baby's back where the tail bone is. They told her that i had whats called club foot. In my case that was where both of my feet were completely turned around towards the back of my legs. and they said that i had access fluid in my head that if it gets to my brain it would most likely kill me. They also told her that i would probably never sit up or walk on my own. But my mom is a very stubborn woman and she wasn't about to accept that i may be in a wheel chair for the rest of my life.

When i was 10 day's old, they had to put a tube called a shunt in my head. this tube went from my brain to my stomach. the tube keeps the fluid away from my brain. After that I was in the hospital for about 10 days before i finally got to come home. while i was in the hospital, my mom and dad couldnt hold me or anything like that. all they could do was touch me and let me know that they were there. when i came home My mom immediately started working on exercising the muscles in my legs and back as soon as she got me home. She had no idea what she was doing so she relied on prayer 100% of the time. She asked god to help her and tell her what to do to find out which muscles she needed to exercise. She found out what parts to exercise in my legs and back and how to do it by moving her own muscles in her back and legs. Then she would move my back and legs the same way to work my muscles. This was very frustrating for both of us and it was very painful for my mom emotionally, but she knew that if she didn't do it that i would probably never walk or sit up on my own. She worked with my legs and back constantly, even when the people around her tried to say that she was just hurting me. some even tried to turn her in for child abuse because i was crying alot when she did this. but it wasnt hurting me, it was just making me very frustrated.

For the club foot i wore a special leg brace during the night when i slept that was basically a bar that connected to the bottom of my shoes. this brace held my feet in an outward position and wasn't very comfortable. So as u could imagine i didn't sleep very well. but my mom did take it off at times so i could get at least a couple hours of sleep even tho the doctors didnt want her to do that. i had to wear that brace for between 3 and 6 months (mom's not exsactly sure cause it was so long ago.) during the day when i was awake she would tape my feet up to where they were pointing in the right direction. My mom says that this wasn't really painful to me until she went to take off the tape. She continued to do all of this along with putting up with comments that other people (including family members) were saying, and eventualy my feet did start to turn more twards the right way.

When i was 4 months old my mom woke up to the first of many miracles that God had in store for our family. i was sitting up up for the first time in my crib just like i had been doing it for a long time. No one could believe it. In fact when my mom went to tell everyone they thought that she was just joking. She had to bring them up to see for themselves cause at for months old that's very early for a baby to be sitting up anyway, much less a baby that wasn't supposed to sit up at all.

She continued to work with my legs and back and taping my feet up. After a while my feet slowly started to straiten up and turn towards the front. She still worked with my legs and back till finally when i was about 4 yrs old i took my first steps with the help of a walker and leg braces. These leg braces started at my waist and connected to a special pair of shoes. It took me hours to walk from one side of a room to the other side. and usualy the room's were very small. But we didnt let that stop us. my mom would put a few peices of candy and maby even a new toy like 2 or 3 steps away from me, and make me walk over to get it. and as that got easier she started putting them further away and eventualy she started putting them on one side of the room. she of course made sure it was in the same room. she wasnt going to make me go to another room. that's mean. and she wasnt trying to be mean. By this time i also had the people from a special school i went to called UCP (United Cerable Palsey) exercising my legs and back during the day, but my mom still did it at the times when i wasn't at school. This school taught me things like how to fall without getting hurt, and they helped me learn how to use the walker that i had to use to get around. I went to this school till i was about 5 yrs old.

I went to a regular school when i started Kindergarten. I had a physical therapist that exercised my back and legs on certain days of the week, and i was in special education classes because i have dyslexia. if u dont know what that is, it's where when i read, sometimes my eyes play tricks on me. it happens with both letters and numbers. especialy in numbers tho. like for exsample, it mainly happens with long words, and say i had a word like Mississippi, as u can tell, i dont have any problems with that word, but it's one of the very few that i dont have problems with. but anyways, to most people who r dyslexic, that word would appear all jumbled up and look something like misissisippi, or sometimes even more jumbled up then that. and it's the same way with long numbers. and it's realy bad with numbers for me. when i was first starting out with reading, my mom had me read a sentince to her once, and i read the entire thing backwards! that's how bad it used to be with words, and numbers was worse then that!... now, back to my walking.... I used the walker till i was about 6 maybe 7 yrs old. Then i went to using fore arm crutches. by this time i was faster at walking. but still pretty slow. I had a lot of help from my physical therapist in learning how to walk with the crutches, and of course my mom helped me out with them too, but to be honest my mom never made me use them much at home. this is probably the only reason that my balance got better so fast. Shortly after i turned 11 i got to get rid of one of my crutches and just use one for safety. And then just before i turned 12 i got to get rid of the other one and walk without either of them. I still had the leg braces but i was crutch free. when i got out of elementary school, my mom found out that they had not been teaching me how to read or write. so when i went into 7th grade, i didnt know how to do either. so i not only had the problems with dyslexia, i had not been taught how to read or write so it was very agravating for my mom.

when i went into middle school, my mom walked into the school with me and told them that i didnt know how to read or write, and that she wasnt going to tolerate them not teaching me. this was a very good school. they actualy won a blue ribbon for being such a good school all around. i learned how to read and write very well by the time i was in 8th grade! they held me back in 8th grade so i wouldnt be so far behind because of what the other school had done. most people would not like this, but i honestly think it was the best thing that they could have done for me. i wasnt so far behind in my learning, and i had a chance to catch up on other stuff. that school was the best school i had ever been to. they taught me more in 2 yrs then the other school had taught me in the 7yrs i was there! by then i still didnt do so well in my math, but at least i learned how to read and write, wich was the main focus since i was so far behind on that. i also loved this school because i had more friends there then i had ever dreamed of having! i had NO normal friends in elementary school. all my friends in elementary school were dissabled just like me. tho i never met anyone with spina bifida. all the kids that were not dissabled made fun of me. and when i walked down the hallways of that school they would all stair at me and back away like i had some kind of contagiouse disease. this made me very upset alot of times. but at least i had my parents, and of course the Lord to lean on when i was upset. and i was realy glad that didnt happen with my middle school. i fit in realy well there for some reason. tho i didnt see anyone who was as dissabled as i was. no one had leg braces, no one had a shunt in their head (that i knew of), so i still felt different. but at least i was accepted.

I had the braces till i was around 13, then i got to start using some smaller ones that were plastic and just went up to just below my knees. The best part was that these fit inside my shoes. So i got to wear whatever kind of shoes i wanted. I was really excited to be able to pick out my first pair of shoes! these braces also were able to be covered by my pants so not very many people knew that i had to wear them. They knew that i was handicapped cause i walked funny but they didn't know that i had leg braces, and that's all that i really cared about. I was very happy to be able to look somewhat normal for once and not get staired at every time i walked down the hallways at school.

I still have to wear them today, but I'm getting much better and i don't get the funny looks that i used to get when i walked through the store cause I'm not walking as funny anymore. i also still have the shunt and most likely will always have it. i have to watch out for sign's of it getting clogged like when i get headaches a lot. but only if they get really bad a lot. and when they do get really bad i have to go get the shunt checked out to make sure it's not clogged. most of the time they just do simple thing's like having me follow a light with my eyes, but every now and then they have to do something very painful which is usually only used as a last resort. they stick a needle in my head where the tube is to see if any fluid comes out. and if fluid doesn't come out then that means it's clogged up and they need to do immediate surgery as soon as possible or i may die. thankfully i havent had to have it checked in a very long time. and the last time i had to have it checked like that was when i was like 7 or 8yrs old. i do get a lot of headaches cause of that. but as long as they're not migraine's every time i don't have to worry.
Every night when i go to bed i thank god for several things. One thing i thank god for is that i didn't die the day that i was born. i could have very easily died. Another thing i thank him for is for telling my mom what to do to get me walking and for giving her the strength to not give up. But the thing i thank god for the most is that my life isn't as bad as it could be. I could be in a wheel chair right now but I'm not. And even worse i could have died when i was born in the hallway of that hospital from a disease or illness. God was watching me and protecting me through all of it.

I have never nor will i ever take ANY credit for being able to sit up or walk, or for going through so much. Cause i think my mom went through much more and its not me who got me walking. Its not even my mom who got me walking. it was GOD! If it wasn't for god my mom wouldn't have known what to do when she was exercising my back and legs. And i would have died when i was born. He is without a doubt the reason that i am standing here today. And i know that i go through some pretty tough times but when i start getting depressed i just think of how bad it could be. I could have also been born to parents that didn't care about me as much as my mom and dad do. They loved me enough that they were not going to let what the doctors say come true, And i thank god for that every day.

I know that i didn't mention my dad in this much but he went through quite a bit too. He was there when my mom exercised my legs and back which most of the time got me very aggravated and made me very fussy a lot. And i have a feeling that he's another reason that my mom was able to hold herself together. She had to deal with the emotional pain of seeing me so aggravated and she had to deal with people trying to tell her that what she was doing was wrong. They tried to turn her in for child abuse several times, and if it wasn't for god or my dad it would have been much harder on her. He has truly made our life's SO much easier!! there's no way that my mom or dad could have done this without him!